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The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The
only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. --
He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European
Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl
win. Then one night, while watching CNN, he saw a war-zone scene in
Afghanistan.*
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In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim
soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight
into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! He threw another
hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! "I've
got to get this guy!" the Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect
arm!"
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So, he brought the Afghan to the United States and taught him the great
game of football. And the Lions went on to win the Super Bowl.*
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The young Afghan was hailed as the great hero of football, and when the
coach asked him what he wanted, all the young man wanted was to call his
mother.
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"Mom," he said into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't
want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman said. "You deserted us. You
are not my son!"
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"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleaded. "I've won
the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my
adoring fans."
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"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorted.
--
"At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood
is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of
their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so
she doesn't get ****d!"
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The old lady paused, and then tearfully continued, "I will never f****ve
you for making us move to Detroit!"